How to speak to children in care about mothers day 

This time of the year can understandably be hard for children in care, with mother’s day approaching we thought it would be a good time to provide some advice on how you can talk to children in care about this time of the year.  

Many Children in care have complex relationship with their birth parents, some may have limited contact with them whilst some may not see their parents at all.  

Some young people will be thinking of their parents on this day and may wish to talk to or see their parent on this day. It will be up to the social worker to decide if this is appropriate and in their best interest. As their foster carer it may be up to you to facilitate and support this.  

Other children may want to talk to foster carers or another adult they trust about their mum and any memories they have with her. We would encourage you to offer a space for them to talk about their feelings and be curious around how this day may make them feel. If it is deemed appropriate you could plan an activity to help them collect and honour their memories like making a scrap book or memory box 

It is also worth being mindful that days like these can lead to children showing behaviours of concern. It is important to remain understanding and empathetic during these times and try and offer known methods that can help them regulate their behaviours.   

It is now often recognised that we need to be mindful around the language that is used during this time, to ensure we don’t unintentionally exclude the many children who will not have a mother or will have an alternative parental figure. “Grown-ups that love us day” is one way we have now heard Mother’s Day described, which we feel is very inclusive of all children whatever their situation may be.  

However you decide to mark this day with your foster child it is also worth taking time to self-reflect on your role in their life. For many children, foster carers are the only parental figures in their lives . You are providing a loving, caring and stable environment and you should be proud of what you are offering them.